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                              逼孩子上北大?你上一個試試! “別人家的媽”來了
                              2019-08-12 17:35 來源:錢江晚報

                              原標題:逼孩子上北大?你上一個試試! “別人家的媽”來了

                              潘女士經常這樣陪伴兒子沈子涵

                              前幾日,本報報道了杭州市九蓮小學五(1)班沈子涵同學自編自畫了繪本《墜落的星》(詳見本報8月6日11版《大人們常嚷嚷的“理想”,杭州九蓮小學五年級娃畫了出來》),這本繪本精細的畫功讓許多網友驚嘆。同時,里面的一個細節引起了大家的關注——沈子涵說,媽媽考上了北大研究生,這本書可以說是媽媽經歷的寫照。采訪中記者得知,媽媽潘潔(化名)本科就讀于浙江大學,因為始終有一個北大夢,為了實現自己的理想也是為了給孩子樹立榜樣,毅然決定報考北大光華管理學院的MBA研究生:面試、全國聯考、政治考試、政審……過五關斬六將,2019年6月成功被北大錄取。

                              為了更多地陪伴孩子

                              她放棄穩定工作創業

                              從國企到上市公司,潘女士大學畢業后一直有一份穩定的工作。2008年,小沈出生了,最初孩子主要由家里的老人看管。

                              “在孩子五歲那年,我聽了幼兒園組織的一場家庭教育的講座,專家的一席話讓我感受頗深。”潘女士說,專家指出:孩子的成長大致有三個重要時期,即1~6歲,6~12歲,12~18歲;12~18歲時,孩子已經進入青春期,其獨立意識與逆反心態決定了這一時期已經不是親密關系建立的優勢時期。所以,父母與孩子建立親密關系的最佳時期是12歲之前,即依戀期。

                              “這么掐指一算,我能陪伴孩子的時間并不多。”潘女士說,那次講座后,她便有了下海自己創業的想法,希望創業后時間靈活,能夠有更多的時間陪伴孩子。

                              2014年,她與朋友合伙開了一家公司。公司成立之后,與原先設想的時間自由完全不同的是,她不僅沒有獲得更多的陪伴孩子的時間,反而更忙了。

                              “公司剛起步,有很多事要親力親為,而且每天都要面對不一樣的難題。”潘女士回憶。不過她并沒有因為工作的繁忙和壓力忽視孩子,而是將這也作為與孩子一起成長、一起“修煉”的絕好方式。每天晚上,她會將自己遇到的困難用孩子能夠聽懂的方式告訴孩子,和孩子一起討論如何面對,當問題解決后,她也會和孩子分享自己的心路歷程和解決方法。

                              “我想用我的親身經歷告訴他,人生總是會遇到各種各樣的難題,遇到問題后感到焦慮和害怕都是正常的,短時間有沮喪的情緒也是正常的,但我們不能因此一蹶不振,要有樂觀的心態,要積極地解決問題。”潘女士說。

                              每晚與孩子一起學習

                              互相比賽背單詞

                              去年,潘女士的公司終于步入了正軌,她也得以稍有空閑,一天晚上在陪伴孩子閱讀時,北大夢想又浮現在腦海中。

                              “我已經奔4了,如果再不去實現這個夢想,可能就會成為此生的遺憾。”潘女士說,其實學歷對于經商來說,并不會有很大的幫助,但進一步學習可以幫助自己系統地接觸前沿商業知識,開闊視野,從某種意義上來說,這對培養孩子也有正向意義。

                              “我的北大夢孩子一直是知道的,我想通過努力實現夢想,讓孩子知道前進的道路雖然坎坷,可能不是直線,但是只要心中堅持目標,就會有實現的一天。”潘女士說。

                              去年8月份,她提交了北大MBA的面試申請,10月份拿到了預錄取資格。接下來的兩個月,“見縫插針”地積極備戰12月份的全國聯考。因為公司事務繁多,她能學習的時間只有周一至周五晚上八點后,以及部分的周末時間。數學、邏輯、寫作、英語,每門課都不落下。

                              “那兩個月,只要不出差,我幾乎每天都和孩子一起比賽背單詞,我背10個他背5個,背完相互抽查。”潘女士說,那兩個月里即使再忙、再累,自己也會堅持每晚單詞打卡。背完單詞,孩子去書房寫作業時,她也會拿著自己的學習資料在一邊和孩子一起學習。

                              “當孩子感覺到媽媽在和他一起努力時,自己也不會松懈。”潘女士笑著說。今年7月份,當收到北大錄取通知書時,最高興的不是自己而是孩子。他第一時間把好消息和自己的老師和朋友們分享了。

                              “我喜歡理工科,我長大想要考取清華,雖然不知道能不能實現夢想,我一定會以媽媽為榜樣好好努力的。”小沈開心地說。

                              除了高質量的陪讀

                              還有直達心靈的交流

                              雖然日常工作繁忙,潘女士和孩子之間從不缺少陪伴,不多的相處時間里,他們之間總能發生許多暖心的故事。

                              “去年準備考研那會兒正好是冬天,很冷,我在外面報了培訓班,上完課通常要到10點,回來能看見桌上他留給我的字條,讓我注意保暖早點休息,有時還會泡上一碗面或是洗水果給我吃。”潘女士笑著說。

                              而潘女士對孩子的陪伴也不僅限于考研期間,自從創業后,只要不出差,她每天都會盡可能多的時間和孩子在一起。“每天只要有條件,我都會回家吃晚飯,早上我也一定會和孩子一起起床,陪他吃早餐。”在潘女士看來,家人就是要一起吃很多很多頓飯。

                              除此之外,晚上回到家后,她也經常會陪孩子聊天,相互說說自己最近碰到的趣事或是遇到的困難,說完話后她便和孩子一起進書房,孩子完成作業,她則看書或處理一些緊急的工作,但絕不刷劇或在網上閑逛。睡覺前是家人共同的閱讀時間,她有時會和孩子閱讀同一本書,尤其是碰到比較深奧的書籍,兩人便一起朗讀,一起查找不懂的知識點。

                              “如果閱讀的書達到了一定量,我便會讓他自己制作攻略,帶他出去旅游,既讀萬卷書,也行萬里路。”潘女士笑著說。

                              和一般的男孩子一樣,小沈也喜歡玩游戲,對此媽媽并沒有絕對反對,在她看來,“堵不如疏,疏不如引”,而且游戲是孩子與同伴之間交流的話題之一,如果完全不讓孩子接觸游戲,可能也會導致孩子與同學之間無話可聊。不過,玩游戲的時間是有規定的。

                              “他在與我們共同約定的時間內玩游戲,我們不會干涉,但如果超出了時長不結束,我們便會提醒,并且第二天要受到相應的小懲罰,比如縮短以后的游戲時間。有了這些規則,孩子對游戲時間的掌控就自覺多了。”潘女士說。

                              (作者:梁建偉 編輯:胡韻妍 責任編輯:鄧靜)
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